pipmer1: (Default)
Haven't posted here in an age.

Lots of internal stuff going on. Trying to make it all manifest into action.

Actions I've taken, or practical steps

1.   Classes for Texas Master Naturalist
2.   Kitties caught up on appointments
3.   Slow but sure organizing/cleaning of apartment
4.   Sat down and chatted with director, discussing goals and hopes
5.   Updated driver's license
6.   Met goal of working in vet room
7.   Put effort into making home-cooked, nutritious meals
8.  Some writing happening, including articles


I feel like I have a mood disorder, very much mood swings. Feel like I just need some kind of stabilizer to help take the edge off. Might make 1000 percent difference?

Still feel isolated. 

Really need to send my resume to different places, apply for positions. Need a living wage to make ends meet. Need something that allows me to have access to medical care, and re-establish a retirement/savings plan. Those are the two major benefits needed. Others: paid time off (vacations/holidays, sick/family leave).

I've let so many things slip through the cracks, with no one to blame but myself. But I also have to believe that I can get back on track again, and make it better. Or at least go in the right direction, and make it better than it is right now.



Short Fic!

Aug. 9th, 2019 03:02 pm
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 I know I haven't posted here in, like, forever. But this is a very short ficlet that I just wrote as a result of a prompt at the Fic Writer's Retreat in Canada. Enjoy!

The prompt was:  Write about a balcony.

Johnlock, obviously.


Read more... )
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 So I deserve to be heard and to be validated just as much as the next person. I'm not asking for too much; I deserve to thrive in my life as much as the next person. So I keep being tempted to minimize my feelings and frustrations by telling myself to quit whining, to be grateful for what I have, and to shut up already.

But you know what? No. I'm just as human as the next person, which means my feelings and needs are just as valid as everyone else's. Feeling frustrated is not a sense of entitlement; it's the natural progression of being human and experiencing a lack of certain things that are ESSENTIAL for growth and well-being.


So this is me, crying out into the void. If no one is reading, or if I'm invisible, it really doesn't matter. This is me, this is what I'm feeling, and I'm posting about it on my own personal blog.



pipmer1: (Default)
 Is anyone actually seeing my posts? Its kinda disheartening to vomit my heart and soul out and then have no idea whether or not I'm being heard.


pipmer1: (Default)
A happy birthday and best wishes go out to my friend [livejournal.com profile] opaljade.  I hope your day was filled with all good things, my dear! Enjoy, and spoil yourself if no one else does it for you :)
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CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SHERLOCK CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TRAILER




I had a thought a day or so ago, as you do. Concerning the Sherlock Christmas special.

From everything I’ve read, the special is supposed to take place in 1895. Now, there’s no reason to think that Moftiss is going to stick to any of the ACD canon timeline (as erratic as that is), but WHAT IF….

1895. A year after Holmes’ return from The Hiatus. Watson is now widowed and once again living at 221B Baker Street, with Holmes. We’ve been led to believe that the episode has to do with ghosts somehow, perhaps a case involving the appearance of the supernatural.

Consider also that the scenes we’re given of Mary so far do not involve any dialogue or engagement with others on her part. We see her sitting on the arm of the chair that John is sitting in, which implies a level of intimacy, but John’s attention is elsewhere. He seems to be completely unaware that she’s even there.

In this episode, could Mary Watson – be a ghost??

The only thing that doesn’t really jibe with that is the mourning outfit that she’s wearing…..

Update

Apr. 21st, 2015 08:19 pm
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I’m sorry I’ve been MIA in more ways than one. I was offered a job (pay raise, promotion) in Houston TX. I currently reside in Grand Rapids, MI. They want me to start May 25. Needless to say I’m a bit nerve-wracked, anxiety-ridden and just all around distracted. Plus I have to have a hard conversation with my roommate of over 10 years. My gut has been churning non-stop.

*FLAILS

Apr. 7th, 2015 01:37 am
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Okay, remember how my office was supposed to have closed down by the end of last year? Well, we're still here, although nobody knows for how long. The uncertainty is a bit disconcerting, but at the same time there have been opportunities opening up all over the country.

SO....


I came back into work today after a week's vacation. The director of our site pulled me into his office, and asked me if I'd be interested in a job opportunity in Houston, Texas. There is no guarantee of anything, but *SQUEEEEE*!!!!  This is the most validating news I have received in a long, long time, at least pertaining to my job/career.
I'm not sure if i'm more excited or scared.... and of course, on top of all that, there's no guarantee I'd even be offered anything. But still.
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Over at tumblr there's a tradition of posting six sentences of a WIP that you are currently working on that hasn't been posted yet. I thought of doing it over here too, because why not? This is my first time doing so, so if you have any comments/thoughts/suggestions please let me know! I always get nervous if I get no comments or no indications that people are actually interested.

This is a bit more than six sentences, from a Sherlock WIP that I am working on:


Read more... )
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Title: Polaris
Author: PipMer
Length: 6300 words
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, Mary Morstan
Additional Tags: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Friendship, Romance, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, 5+1 Things, Birthday Fic, Retirement!Lock

Summary: In every possible universe, and in any conceivable reality - one thing always remains constant:  Sherlock Holmes loves John Watson.

Author's Notes: A late late birthday gift for my friend [livejournal.com profile] opaljade. I hope you like it!

This is formatted as a  5 + 1 story. The first section is canon compliant, taking place during The Sign of Three. The next four sections are divergence from canon, showing four alternate ways events could have transpired. And the final +1 part - well, I hope that it's self explanatory.

Special thanks to both [livejournal.com profile] prettybirdy979 and [livejournal.com profile] batik96 for beta duties, cheerleading and encouragement. You are the best! And much gratitude to [livejournal.com profile] arianedevere for use of her transcript, which is found here.

Just one final note: yes, the quote at the beginning is from a Wikipedia article, here.  I chose to include it because, in my mind, it is the perfect metaphor for the story I am trying to tell.
Read more... )

pipmer1: (Default)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, [livejournal.com profile] opaljade!!


I hope that your day is filled with awesomeness and all good things.  Many happy returns, my friend!




Pip 
pipmer1: (Default)
Title: Love Actually
Writer: PipMer
Status of work: Complete
Characters and/or pairings: Sherlock/John
Rating: G
Warnings, kinks & contents: fluff, humor, first kiss, dialogue-only, no angst
Length: 250 words

Author's note: So this is just a tiny ficlet that popped into my head yesterday. I've had a writing dry spell lately, I think due both to working crazy hours (52 hours of overtime for 2 weeks) and a general lack of confidence. Hopefully this will help pull me out of the slump.

Since I really, really suck at titles - yes, I stole this one from the movie I watched last night. Hopefully it's at least a little bit relevant. Dialogue-only fic. Hope you enjoy!


Summary: Love tends to rear its head at the most inconvenient time.



Love Actually )

Update

Jul. 24th, 2014 12:00 pm
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I just found out about an hour ago that my office is closing here in Grand Rapids. It'll happen sometime between Nov. 1 and the end of the year.

It's not a tragic thing for me, since I've needed for quite some time to make major changes in my life. Without this to kick me in the ass, I may just have coasted forever just because it's easy and I'm a lazy person. I don't have a house payment anymore. Of course, I will miss all the people I've become friends with, and change is always hard. I just leased a brand new car a few weeks ago, but the old car I had was starting to rack up the repair bills anyway. Technically speaking, I do have a roommate who now has a very good full-time job, but I don't really count on that to ease things much since he has a history of not being financially reliable.


Just some good thoughts from you while I catch my breath, I suppose. Thanks in advance!
pipmer1: (Default)
Title: Unspoken
Writer: PipMer
Status of work: Complete
Characters and/or pairings: Sherlock/John unresolved, Mycroft Holmes, Irene Adler
Rating: Teen
Contents: missing scene, pre-slash, drugged!John, mutual pining, angst, prompt fill, John's Missing Wednesday
Warnings: non-consensual drug use, spoilers for The Sign of Three
Length: 2800 words

Summary: Sherlock wanted to test a hypothesis. About John. He wanted a question answered that he couldn’t just ask, at least not under normal conditions, because John would never tell him the truth about that.


Author's note: This was written for Part A of the prompt found here. Many thanks to both [livejournal.com profile] prettybirdy979 and batik for betaing and for awesome suggestions/feedback. Also much gratitude given to Ariane_Devere for use of her transcripts, which are found here.


**SEE THE END NOTES FOR A POSSIBLE SPOILERY HEADS-UP**




=====================================================



Read more... )

Hello

May. 31st, 2014 04:50 pm
pipmer1: (Default)
Just a bit of an update on things.


It occurred to me awhile ago that I haven't been bothered by my OCD in quite some time. Not just *not bothered*.. but actual absence of symptoms. Isn't it funny how I didn't notice the absence right away? It seems that I would have promptly noticed that I wasn't being bothered anymore by something that has given me such grief in the past. I suppose that if something just isn't there anymore, your focus is no longer drawn to *it* but to other things, thereby making its absence less noticeable. I don't even know if I'm making any sense :D

Anyway... it's quite a relief, for now. That's not to say I'm no longer anxious or insecure; in fact, those two things are now thrust into the forefront since my OCD is no longer there to mask it. But I feel like I have some sort of control over those, whereas I felt like such a victim of my OCD. So that's a good thing, I guess.

I can't quite figure out why the change. I'm not on any meds. I was in therapy for awhile, but I haven't been back for quite a few months now. I honestly don't know why. As a scientist, it's a bit unnerving because I would like to think there's some sort of connection somewhere, something that I'm doing or something in my environment that's causing it. I don't like randomness, because that implies lack of control, which i HATE. I'd like to know if it's something I'm doing so that I can *continue* doing it. Otherwise, I'm at the mercy of fate's whims, which makes me very uneasy. I *do* know that I started feeling relief back when I resumed therapy again. But I discontinued that, so... I don't know.


Anyway, please drop me a line, I'd love to hear from you.
pipmer1: (Default)
I don't know if anyone reads what I post here other than fic, but here's a bit of self-reflection anyway. Half the time I feel like I don't have anything of importance or interest to share; however, I need to feel as if I'm actually participating in life, so I hope someone will engage.

Read more... )
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I actually posted this as a comment to one of [livejournal.com profile] marta_bee's posts, which you can find here: http://marta-bee.livejournal.com/294972.html.  I got a bit carried away with my reply, so I thought I'd go ahead and post my thoughts here as well.  Because I cannot squee enough about this episode.  Before you read any further:  yes, I am aware of its many flaws.  It's not perfect, by any means.  Be that as it may, here is why I loved it so much:

WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS

Read more... )
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Hello, folks! Since I rarely post fic in this journal anymore, I'm leaving a link here to my most recent story on AO3, Red Number Day. I just posted the final chapter today. Some of you have had a large part in the shaping of this story, some of you have had the pleasure of listening to me whine about it ad nauseaum, and some of you don't know what the heck I'm talking about. I'd be pleased if you'd check it out. It's my longest story to date, and my first magical realism fic. Fair warning: it's quite a bit angstier than my usual fare, but I do promise a satisfying ending.

Happy Holidays!!
pipmer1: (Default)
My roommate finally has a job, after two years of being unemployed, and four months after running out of said unemployment.


We share a car. MY car, which I pay for everything for, aside from gas, which he helped pay for when he actually had money to do so. I pay for everything else regarding said car.


One of the tires had a couple of bulges in it. He pestered me to take it in and get it fixed or replaced, because it was potentially dangerous and could cause a blow-out at any time. This is reasonable. So I took it in today, and had it replaced. When I got home, he asked if they had looked at any of the other tires for issues as well. I said yes, it was mentioned that one of the tires was pretty low on tread and should be replaced soon. I opted not to, because I need to budget my expenses, because HELLOOO I'VE BEEN PAYING FOR EVERYTHING ON MY OWN FOR FOUR FUCKING MONTHS.


Anyway, he tells me, "Well, that doesn't really reassure me. I'd like to know that the car is safe to drive. Isn't safety an important enough reason to perhaps dip into your savings?"




Okay. Two things. 1) Regarding dipping into savings: What do you think I've been doing for the past four months in order to pay for all the daily bills and expenses? Something that should have never happened, because when you were close to running out of unemployment, you should have been busy looking for a job so that I wouldn't be stuck paying for everything on my own. 2) If you use the car as much as me, I should think that it wouldn't be unreasonable to expect you to help defray the costs of maintenance and repair of said car. What IS unreasonable is you expecting me to shoulder that entire burden on my own.




This can't go on for much longer, or I'm going to start shooting the walls. Or shooting someONE.
pipmer1: (Default)
Hello dear friends.

I wanted people to know that I am participating in a fandom charity auction for [livejournal.com profile] help_syria.  Check this community out here.   If you want to win a Sherlock fic written by me, bid on me here.  Or bid on one of the other lovely authors if you so desire!  Bidding takes place from now through July 8.


Thank!


Deb

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