Tea and Conversation, Part 4

[pipmer1]

Title:  Tea and Conversation, Part 4
Author:  PipMer
Rating:  PG
Characters:  Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Mycroft
Pairing:  Sherlock/John, Lestrade/Mycroft
Genre:  Humour, texting, slash, friendship
Warnings:  Some swearing, sexual innuendo
Wordcount:  1039
Disclaimer:  I don't own, no money is being made from this.

Summary:  Back by popular demand, a continuation of the Tea and Conversation series.  John has problems with his phone, Sherlock changes ring tones, and Greg and Mycroft are caught in the middle.  Shameless usage of the 'autocorrect' trope.  


A/N:  This is a continuation of the Tea and Conversation and Series; the previous part is found here: Tea and Conversation, Part 3.   All spelling, grammar and punctuation errors in Lestrade's texts are intentional, due to the Inspector's inebriation. 

Lestrade, have you seen John?  -SH

No, mate, should I have?  -GL

“Mate”?  Oh, great, you’re at the pub now, aren’t you?  -SH

Yep!  -GL

You’re not there with my brother, are you? –SH

No!  Do you think he’s set foot in tone of the se things?  -GL

I should hope not.  –SH

So, can’t find John, eh?  Did you two have a fight?  -GL

Why would you say such a thing?  -SH

Because the onl;y time he ever ignores your texts is when he’s angry wit you.  Wasn’t a difficult deducing –GL

“Deduction”  -SH

What?  -GL

Never mind.  We may have had a – disagreement.   –SH

I’ll have Mycroft keep a lookout for him with his camera thingies. –GL

Thank you, Lestrade  -SH

Welcome.  So, you and John… officially together now, eh? ;)   -GL

It would seem so.  –SH

Well, congrats.  About time you two got you r act’s together.  –GL

Yes, and already he’s walked out on me.  Not much cop, this caring lark.  –SH

You two fight all the time, nothin new.  Hell get over it, whatever it is.  What did you do, anyway? –GL

Why would you assume it was me that did anything? –SH

Cuz I know you ;)  -GL

I may have changed his ringtone to “It’s Raining Men”.  And it may have gone off in the middle of  Dimmock’s crime scene.  And Anderson and Donovan may have been there as well.  –SH

Holy crap, Sherlock, that’s BRILLIANT!  I wish I had been there to see his face!  LOL!!!   -GL\::

“LOL”?  -SH

“Laughing out loud” .   ROFLMFAO!!!!11111   -GL

Honestly, Lestrade.  –SH

Sorry, sorry.  That;s just too funny!  I’ll have to tell Mycroft that one.   –GL

I wish you wouldn’t.  –SH

Why not?  -GL

Because I may have remotely changed Mycroft’s ringtone to “Dancing Queen”, and I don’t want to give him reason to commiserate with my – with John.   –SH

Remotely… how the hell did you manage that?? –GL

Oh, it was easy, once I put my mind to it.  –SH

You really are a piece of work.  “Dancing Queen”, really?  -GL

Yes, well, it’s a bit of an inside joke.  Ask Mycroft about the time John and I went to Buckingham Palace.  –SH

Don’t think I really want to know. –GL

If you hear from John, will you tell him I’m sorry? And that I want him to come home? –SH

It was just a joke, Sherlock, I’m sure he’ll think it’s funny once he’s calmed down.  –GL

Just tell him, would you? –SH

Sure, mate, sure, whatever.  I’ll tell him.  –GL

Thank you.  –SH

****

I really want to snog you right now.  –JW

Come home, then.  –SH

PUNCH!  I want to PUNCH you right now.  –JW

You don’t want to snog me?  -SH

Not at the moment, no.  –JW

Shame.  –SH

That was really embarrassing, Sherlock.  What if my phone had gone off in the middle of a patient consultation?  -JW

You won’t have to worry about that too much longer, since you’ll be quitting your surgery job in another two weeks.  –SH

That isn’t the POINT, Sherlock!  God, I really could just shag you right now.  –JW

KILL!  I could just KILL you right now!  Did you do something with my autocorrect?? –JW

I don’t think your phone even has an autocorrect function.  –SH

Whatever.  Just… don’t touch my phone ever again, alright?  Jesus Christ.  It’s like dealing with a gorgeous five-year old sometimes. –JW

Why thank you, John.  You’re quite attractive yourself.  –SH

What?  Oh Christ… I meant to say stroppy, not gorgeous.  Something’s definitely wrong with my phone.  –JW

I don’t think it’s autocorrect, I think that’s just your subconscious acting out.  Will you come home now?  -SH

Where else would I go?  -JW

Nowhere, I hope.  –SH

Of course not.  There’s no place I’d rather be than at home buggering you. –JW

Are you sure you’re ready to take that step?  I thought we were taking it slow.  -SH

BUGGING!  OH MY GOD, BUGGING YOU!!!!!   -JW

When I get home you’re showing me how to turn this thing off.  –JW

Fine.  -SH

Almost there.  Um, Sherlock… would you actually be interested in, um, well… you know? –JW

In taking our relationship to the next level?  -SH

Yes, exactly, thank you.  –JW

What’s the typical rate of progression?  We’ve only just kissed and shared a bed thus far.  –SH

I thought you said you weren’t a virgin? –JW

I’m not, but I’m certainly not an expert on these things.  You, on the other hand. Dr. Three-Continents Watson… -SH

There’s no set rate that we have to go at.  Whatever we’re both comfortable with.  Neither one of us has been with a man before, so I’m fine with not rushing things.  –JW

Good.  Fine.  It’s all fine.  –SH

I love you.  –JW

Sherlock?  -JW

Autocorrect?  -SH

No.  –JW

You’ve never said that to me whilst sober before.  –SH

You must know that I return the sentiment.  –SH

Yes, I do, but it would be nice to have you say it back to me at some point.  –JW

Not over text.  To your face.  COME HOME NOW.  –SH

Will be there in five minutes, Sherly.  –JW

Oh god… Sherlock.  I meant Sherlock.  Sorry –JW

Not a problem, Short Stuff.  –SH

***

Gregory, was that really necessary?   -MH

I think it was pure genius, actually.  Don’t you? –GL

Yes, charming.  I can only hope that my future brother-in-law doesn’t hold a grudge against me because my SO decided he would play a practical joke by messing with his phone settings.  –MH

OK, there are so many things about that statement that begs the question WTF?? –GL

Like what, Gregory?  -MH

Like, future brother-in-law?  Can you really see Sherlock married? –GL

No, but I never thought I would ever see him in love, either.  –MH

Fair cop.  What about SO?  -GL

Isn’t that what you are to me, now?  Or would you prefer the tawdry term ‘lover’? –MH

No, erm, significant other is …fine.  –GL

Good, Now that that tediousness is out of the way, would you like to join me in viewing surveillance videos of Sherlock and John inside 221b?  -MH

I wouldn’t miss that for the world.  On my way.  –GL

Comments

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

This is so much fun. Although if John ever works out the Greg was involved then I fear for what may happen to his phone.

[pipmer1.livejournal.com]

Thank you, it was fun writing it.

Beware the wrath of BAMF!John.

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

OMG, too funny -- the song choices, the autocorrect, the nicknames, love it! And look at Mystrade, the pervs.

[pipmer1.livejournal.com]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!


I never was that keen on Mystrade, but they've grown on me ;)

[the13thtourist.livejournal.com]

Love it! Mycroft and Lestrade would totally do that. And watch too for sure. :-P "It's Raining Men"...perfect!

[pipmer1.livejournal.com]

Thanks ;) So glad you enjoyed.

[scipia.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was just wonderful! Sherly and Short stuff - there's a tv series right there!

It's Raining Men and Dancing Queen. Perfect.

[pipmer1.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Someone really should write that tv series; I'd watch :)

[rakshanda.livejournal.com]

LOVE THIS! Awesome voices. I was feeling down an hour ago - now I'm laughing. THANK YOU

:D