Date: 2012-08-15 01:03 pm (UTC)
ext_6322: (Mori)
I like the idea very much, but it didn't quite work for me, because I finished the story unclear as to whether the blog was Watson or the sniper (Moran?) I thought about it for a few minutes, and decided it had to be the sniper; I think my difficulty was rereading the head interruptions in Moriarty's voice, probably because I'd already heard them in Sherlock's voice. I'm not quite sure if there's a way to make that work better for me; larding those lines with italic might be too obvious (maybe just Tedious?) And I'd have been inclined to fuzz the parallels very slightly, maybe using "My bouts of drinking were in the family tradition" rather than specifying a sister, but that might not be appropriate if the sniper has a sister in the WIP.

I have gone on thinking about it for an hour, however, which must be counted as a success. I wondered whether, in the WIP, Moriarty had picked ?Moran specifically because of his parallels to John, as part of his general obsession with Sherlock, and if so how his "friend" reacted on realising why Moriarty was interested in him. I also wondered if he'd been a mercenary rather than a regular soldier, since he'd missed the London winters - though aren't the Afghan winters rather colder than ours? (Try this (http://www.mapsofworld.com/afghanistan/weather-in-afghanistan.html) for weather conditions.)
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