Someone wrote in [personal profile] pipmer1 2012-06-10 02:29 pm (UTC)

I love that I'm finding myself....slightly sypathetic for Sabastian. And that both frightens me and proves to me the astonishing ability of your writing:

So Sebastian took the envelope containing the photograph of John Watson, and placed it in the flap of the suitcase he would be packing for the next leg of his journey. Call it an obsession, call it sadomasochism, but he never again wanted to lose the red-hot festering in his belly reminding him of his loss and the reason for it.

Sebastian and Sherlock are on opposite sides of the coin in regards of their morals(or lack thereof)

However, they both are on a quest now for one thing: Love, be it platonic or romantic, for the one person that understood and needed them and that they understood and needed in return.


I too, however, am greatly dismayed that the prologue seems some tease. You were able to pack so much in that prologue. So much emotion. You truly were able to 'show, not tell'. The reader was able to know from what you showed, but build their own 'reality' by how little you told. It was so clever.

Last chapter, and this chapter more so, it seems as if your quality is dropping somewhat. Not in your ability but in that you are telling, and telling, and telling... It's almost too much and not at all what I expected from the prologue.

I really wanted the story of the Prologue to be the one told-since so many RF fics exist. But it's not to be. And from what you've warned, it won't be for a very long time.

I too am a grand fan of John H/C. I loved the agonized, destroyed yet determined Sherlock. I loved that you didn't fall into the nauseating trope of "sherlock returns all broken and must be put back together by john" uck. Just UCK!!

I will continue to read but I feel you need to re-read your prologue. To see the power in it. To get back to 'show, not tell'. I also hope that it won't be too long to get to what the prologue teased at, the revenge...and the care for John after.

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