I'm glad you are feeling better, though saddened to hear your fear that it is at the whims of fate.

But, here's a thing. Even if you can't identify the specific thing that is causing it, can you say to yourself "I know I can feel better, and this is what feeling better looks like"? Because for me, when I'm drowning, being able to say "I've been here before and I've made my way back out" can be a really helpful thing. Even if the way out isn't the same every time, just knowing that there has been a way out in the past means a lot.

Just my two cents, perhaps worth less than that.

Good to see you posting!